5 Ways To Do Black Friday, 1 Way To Not
by Graysonation
Summary: It's Derek and Spencer's first holiday shopping spree together as a couple. Oh, the madness . . . (Yes, Oneshot.) . . . (Yes, Slash.) . . . (Yes, Ridiculous.)


**Author's Note: **Hey, my fine fair friends and foes. Yuppers, I _am _alive, just being totally lazy at the moment – well, not lazy . . . _busy, _I guess, with the college-thing and the work-thing and the trying-not-to-freak-out-buying-Christmas-gifts-thing. But, I just had a _very_ successful morning of shopping, and, hopped up on coffee and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I somehow got it into my head that _this _had to be written.

It's my first ever 5/1 fic, so I'm sure I've screwed it up in some kindly way . . . Alas, though, 'twas fun to write, and I think I'll give it another shot sometime soon.

**Kudos:** I wish to express my appreciation for **Annber03. **Without her prodding, random jokes, penchant for Morgan/Reid-ism, and unbelievable patience to sift through long PM's, this would still be a weird idea buzzing around in my head, instead of a weird little story buzzing around on the internet. I _appreciate _you, chica!

**Warnings: **Uhm, . . . some naughty language, fluffy!slash-ness, and cynicism regarding the holiday madness that _is_ Black Friday. Pure crack, I think.

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan, and _Criminal Minds _in general. Oh, and today is Opposite Day too, don'cha know? Psshh . . .

Do enjoy.

* * *

_**. . . . . . .**_

* * *

It wasn't the most pleasant way in the world to wake up, loudly and suddenly from a repetitive buzzing from some decrepit old ratio-alarm clock from the sub-80's.

It was even less pleasant that said alarm was going off four hours too early.

Spencer Reid slowly cracked one eye open and peered at his bedside table.

_3:30. In the morning. _

Groaning, Spencer reached out blindly and slapped the "snooze" button. Content when the noise finally stopped, he rolled over on his side, burrowed deeper into the folds of his blanket, and dug his face into his limp pillow, quickly starting to drift off back to sleep.

Bliss lasted for a few wonderful, silent minutes, and then Reid felt a sinking near his feet, as someone else sat on the bed. He was further roused when a warm, calloused hand clasped his shoulder, and a quiet voice whispered in his ear.

"Pretty Boy . . . wake up . . ."

" . . . y'am up." Reid grumbled into the sheets, shifting slightly closer into Morgan's touch but otherwise not moving.

He heard Morgan laugh, and then there was a second hand on his neck.

"I mean _get_ _up, _genius."

Reid merely retreated more deeply into his coverings, and Morgan sighed.

"I brought coffee."

Still refusing to lift his head from where he lay, Reid's arm shot out towards Morgan, and it hung there in the air, fingers gesturing.

"Nuh-uh, Spencer." Morgan smiled, pushing the boy's plying hands away. "No caffeine until I get to see that pretty face, Pretty Boy."

Derek thought he might have heard Spencer mumble something about "not being so pretty at this ungodly hour," but he ignored it, delighted when his boyfriend began slowly untangling himself from the sheets, eventually sitting up and resting his head on Morgan's shoulder.

"Coffee," he demanded, his voice croaky and clotted with sleep.

Morgan grinned, obligingly handing over a steaming thermal mug. He took a moment to brush the soft tendrils of hair our of Spencer's face, savoring, as he always did, how very adorable the man was, and just how lucky he was to have him in his life.

Even if Reid was totally not a morning person.

"I remembered everything," Morgan assured Spencer when the man lifted the cup to his face, taking in a tremendous inhale that immediately brightened his entire complexion like a sunrise. Reid, his eyes still closed in savoring the heady aroma of fresh brew, cocked an eyebrow and turned ever so slightly in Morgan's direction.

"Hmm?"

Derek shook his head, pulling in so that the young man was closer to his arms.

"I _remembered, _Spencer. Dark roast, one scoop of cream, three tablespoons of sugar, cinnamon –" he broke off as Reid finally took a sip of the drink, and waited until his face emerged again, this time a real smile on it.

"You _did _remember." He sounded truly touched, and Derek smiled at Reid.

"Of course, Pretty Boy. Nutella, because . . ."

"_That's what makes it special."_ They chorused together, both happily accustomed to the way Spencer took his coffee – and, more recently, how Morgan had begun to take his own.

The two men smiled at each other, and Derek asked, "So, tell me . . . think you're ready for this?"

Reid eyed him, still sipping tentatively on the hot drink. Finally he shook his head.

"I've never gone shopping on a 'Black Friday' before, Derek. I have no idea . . . But I guess I'll have to try, right?" The corners of his mouth tugged up, and he finished, "I mean, if nothing else, at least I got you to make my favorite coffee."

Both laughed at that, and Morgan ran his fingers over Spencer's head, ruffling his messy curls.

"There's plenty more fun to today, kiddo. So get dressed." With a final, playful shove, the older man exited the room slowly, and Reid heard the shower start.

_Guess that's a plus, _the young genius mused as he swallowed the last of his little bribe. Setting the mug on his dresser, Spencer headed for the bathroom.

_Maybe I can get Der to make me some more before we leave, _he thought, smiling.

* * *

It was now 4:07 in the morning, and Reid was no longer feeling so amorous towards his partner.

Their shower had been rushed, of course, and he hadn't even had time to grab a second cup of that exquisite coffee, because Morgan had _insisted _that they get to the mall as soon as possible, so that they could get a good spot in line.

A line that, he had conveniently failed to mention, was outside.

_At four in the morning._

Reid shivered, and drew his winter coat even closer to his already compact frame. He blew out a breath, and watched as it turned to steam in the air around them. A few kids behind him saw this, and started blowing fake cigarettes, laughing while Reid watched them fondly.

_God, I want kids someday._

Then one of the older children started shoving a much smaller one, and, after a few minutes, it became painfully obvious that the mother either didn't notice or didn't care, and Spencer turned back to Derek, wincing slightly.

"I still don't see why we couldn't have waited in the car," he complained.

He was facing Morgan's ear, but still saw when Morgan rolled his eyes before answering.

"Pretty Boy, we've been over this; it's Black Friday, it's _tradition." _Hearing Reid scoff, Morgan pushed on, determined. "My sisters would always drag me out early and make me stand in line before the doors opened; it's part of the whole feeling of the day, Spencer. You get to be with other people just like you, in this quiet part of the morning. It's like a whole other world, where you can meet people and make friends."

Reid looked around surreptitiously. "I don't _know_ anyone here, Derek." He said quietly, knowing how whiny he was sounding – but he didn't care. It was too _cold_ to care.

Morgan turned to look Spencer in the eyes, and smiled softly when he saw his boyfriend's chattering teeth and scrunched up nose. He pulled the younger man in, and kissed the top of his parka-covered head.  
"You know _me." _He heard Reid snort.

"Yes, I _do_ know you; you're the whole reason I'm out here freezing in the first place. If I didn't, I'd still be home, where it's warm and safe and _quiet."_

Morgan squeezed Reid tighter, and grinned. He loved a pouty Spencer, and puckered up his own mouth in a fake hissy fit.

"That might be true; but then, if you were warm and safe and quiet and at home, then I wouldn't be able to do _this."_

Completely taking the other man by surprise, Derek twisted him around so that they were both facing one another, and swooped in, planting his lips firmly on Reid's.

Spencer was shocked, for a moment. Morgan was certainly an affectionate man, and he loved to be sweet and tender and surprising . . . but he was _never _like that _in public_. He got so uncomfortable about PDA; it was the whole reason they hadn't yet told their team about them . . . But Reid always took it in stride, and –

_Shut up and take __**this **__in stride._

For once listening to the voice in his head, Reid shook himself of all other thoughts and leaned into the kiss, humming in approval when Derek pressed closer, deepening their embrace.

There was a laugh or two from the people surrounding them, and Reid thought he heard a wolf-whistle; but, for the most part, the crowd studiously ignored them in favor of the front of the lot, where, at long last, the doors were opening.

Morgan finally turned away from Reid – regretfully – and glanced up the line. "Time to go, Pretty Boy," he stated, turning back to Spencer, whose eyes were still stunned by the kiss and cloudy with lust. He knocked Reid's chin sweetly, and grabbed his arm, not letting go as the two men were rushed inside along with the fanatic crowd – not that they were in such a hurry as before, though.

Both men were flushed, and feeling pretty warm.

* * *

Reid was still blushing as they emerged under the bright fluorescents of the first store Morgan had wanted the hit. They were looking for a number of appliances that would make great presents for Fran and Sarah and Desiree. The couple had argued briefly before about Spencer wanting to go to the bookstore first, to find a Chaucer book for his mother – but, in the end, Morgan had prevailed, arguing that the things he was looking for were on sale for a short time, and in limited supply; whereas he and Reid could meander over to Barnes&Noble all day long.

So, here they were.

Reid looked around, still getting used to how excited all of the people seemed; _Don't they know that it's still too early for the live newscasts, even? _he wondered slowly, taking in the frantic, rushing shoppers crowded all around him, pushing and shoving and wrangling their way towards the aisles with marked-down specials.

He was so caught up in watching one man in particular (who was clad only in his pajamas and running towards the espresso machines, yelling about how his wife who would kill him) that it wasn't until his entire body slammed into the metal shelf behind him that he realized he'd been shoved. He looked up, seeing an irate woman of about fifty to his left, panting and red in the face.

"Excuse me –" he started, climbing to his feet, only to be rudely cut off.

"Watch where you're going, stick," she snarled, giving him an appraising once over before apparently dismissing him and stalking off.

Reid's mouth was left hanging open, and he stared after the woman.

_Geez, can't she even –_

His thoughts were cut off again as someone else pushed passed him, shouting "Move it or lose it!" over his shoulder as he turned the corner, pushing a shopping cart full of TVs.

Completely bewildered, Reid, shaking his head, backed up against the nearest aisle, deciding to wait there patiently until he could make his way back to Morgan.

However, this, too, was apparently the wrong move.

"Will you get the fuck out of the way?" An extremely pale, extremely pretty red-head of no more than twenty snapped at him, shoving he hand part Spencer's ears to grab at some ornament that lay on the shelf he was apparently blocking.

"Sor –" he started to mumble an apology, shifting away from the girl's reach, when she cut him off again.

"_Move!" _she screeched, unable to quite grab the decoration, and taking out her frustration on the skinny man before her.

Suddenly having had quite enough of the way people were behaving today already, Reid straightened up, and met the angry girl's eye.

"I would be more than happy to move, _ma'am,_ if you would be so kind as to ask _politely."_

"The fuck I will." She retorted, tensing up for a fight.

"I don't know if you will, but –"

"I don't owe you a goddamn thing, pipe cleaner. So why don't you just –"

"Actually," a smooth, new voice cut into the conversation, and Spencer looked up, relieved to see a very laden-down Morgan standing between them, "you owe him plenty."

The fiery ginger switched her gaze to Morgan. "I don't think so –" she started, only to be silenced by Morgan speaking over her.

"Yeah? Well, I _do." _He glared at the figure before him. "That _pipe cleaner_ just so happens t be a federal agent – one who you're harassing and looking about to assault. He risks his life constantly to keep you and a lot of the people you know alive and safe. He's a good man – and what are you? Some punk in college who doesn't know enough to ask politely for a little help on what's _supposed _to be a fun, shopping holiday." Done with her, Morgan turned to Spencer, and held out his barely-free hand.

"C'mon, Pretty Boy, we got better places to be." Tossing one last look of disgust at the somewhat disquieted girl, Morgan gripped Spencer's fingers and they dragged away through the crowd. As they neared the registers, Morgan mumbled out of the side of his mouth, "You okay?"

Reid turned, and saw the look of guilt on Derek's face, knowing that the man must have thought he'd embarrassed him or something. He leaned in swiftly, placing a small kiss on Derek's cheek before grabbing a couple of the packages out of his arms to help carry them.

"I'm fine," he whispered, both of them smiling at the words that Reid so often used to express his well-being. Even when they weren't necessarily true.

"Really," he added, trying to assure Derek as the older man pulled out his card and stepped into the long line of people waiting to make their purchases, "thank you – f-for standing up for me."

Morgan, setting down his items, saw that the young doctor looked just a tiny bit put-off, and quickly pulled the other man in close, rubbing their noses together.

"It's all part of the game, Spencer. Welcome to Black Friday."

The laughter of both men rang out, quickly becoming lost in a sea of murmuring, talking, arguing, yelling, whispering, running, crying, begging, and price-ringing as they pressed their foreheads together in the middle of the crowded department store and waited for their turn.

* * *

It had been several hours since the first blaring of his annoying alarm clock, and Spencer Reid was truly amazed at how well the body adapted to running around over a dozen crowded stores on a forty-degree morning with absolutely less than a couple of hours' sleep all the while. Thank god for adrenaline.

_Or coffee, _the young genius thought, amused, as he sipped on his third cup that day while Morgan went over his mental checklist, trying to determine where else that they had to shop today. He frowned immediately after swallowing, and shot a nasty glance at the foam cup of sludge in his hand; they'd been giving it out for free to all the shoppers at the mall, and he'd grabbed a few in a desperate attempt to stay awake and warm. Supermarket coffee would never compare to the good stuff he and Derek kept at home – but this cup was particularly bad. Sighing in frustration, Reid tossed the cup in the nearest can, and looked up just in time to see his boyfriend gesturing towards him. Grinning goofily, Reid hurried over.

"Hey, Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted after a quick peck on the cheeks. "You'll be happy, looks like we're almost done here. I've got two more stores." He folded up the little notebook he'd been carrying with him all morning, and faced Reid, finding a look of exasperation on his face. "What?"

Spencer pursed his lips for the briefest instant. "Der-re-e-k," he moaned, stretching out the last syllable for quite a while, "Don't you think that we could get a lot more done if you'd just give me half of that list, and we each went to one of the stores? I'm perfectly capable of choosing some gift cards."

Derek just looked at him. Reid crossed his arms.

"I _am!"_

After another moment, Morgan burst out laughing at the petulant look on Reid's face, pulling Spencer into a very brief, one-armed embrace.

"Aw, I know you are, Spencer. I just worry about another ferocious little college kid coming to chew you up." Reid pulled away from him, and pouted. Morgan nuzzled his neck, and, shaking his head in defeat, pulled out a crumpled Post-It and stuck the yellow paper to Reid's sweater vest.

"Alrighty, then. You go pick up this last thing, and I'll meet you outside of Sears in twenty, okay?" When Reid nodded happily, Morgan placed a quick kiss on his nose, patted his butt playfully, and walked away, dodging Reid's retaliating swat.

Rolling his eyes over his boyfriend's incessant need to touch (and hiding a grin so wide it would have split his face in half), Spencer turned away from the retreating form of Derek Morgan and pulled the wad of paper from his chest, examining the sloppy handwriting.

_Go to . . . SPICER'S? SPINSTER'S? SPECIAL'S? . . . _Reid shook his head, not quite able to decipher the mysterious store's name, and looked around trying to figure out just where, exactly, he was supposed to find a, uh, . . ._ Glow-In-The-Dark-Hello-Kitty Lava Lamp . . ._

In an act of sheer desperation, Reid turned to the nearest vendor outside of the candy store peddling contact lenses, and asked for some help. The kindly gentleman pointed Reid in the direction of some place called _Spencer's,_ and Reid hurried off after thanking him, not wanting to hear any more about what color would suit 'those pretty little eyes of his.'

The store might have shared his given name, but there was absolutely nothing that the man Spencer had in common with the eclectic, neon, coke-driven-wild-music-blasting sexed-up kingdom of the shop where Derek Morgan had sent him to buy Penelope Garcia's Christmas gift. Never before had Reid seen such color, such graphics . . . so many shirts with curses on them, or so many colorful ways of saying the word "Penis."

Slightly in awe, the young man stared around, trying to take in everything in a single, uninterrupted glance – which was, sadly, not to be, as, just like in the other store, Reid was shoved aside by some other more intent, rather rude customers.

One of them, a man of no more than 22, stared at Reid for a moment, waggling his eyebrows and licking his lips suggestively before the girl with pink hair who was accompanying him shoved him back into another aisle.

More than a little perturbed, Reid jumped hugely when a hand placed itself on his shoulder, and a low, kind voice asked him, "Need some help finding something, honey-bunch?"

He turned, relieved at last to have found a salesperson – admittedly, one with purple bangs and three lip piercings, but beggars can't be choosers . . .

Spencer nodded gratefully, and pulled out the scrap bearing instructions from his pocket, saying, "My bo – _my friend_ wants me to pick this up for someone we work with . . . ah, could you perhaps point me in the right direction?"

The woman – her nametag said TANYA – grinned when she saw what was written on the paper.

"Friend of yours, eh? Damn – you guys get this stuff for your coworkers, I might just have to switch jobs." She handed back the Post-It, gesturing loosely to the back of the store. "All the stuff on sale is back there, you should be able to find something. If not, . . ." she stroked Reid's arm and turned around, finishing over her shoulder, " . . . you can always come and take _me _home, cutie-pie."

Completely baffled by the obscene and uncomfortable amount of attention that seemed to be focused on him today, Reid walked in the direction that Tanya had indicated, keenly keeping his eyes peeled for anything neon-pink and resembling a cat.

_Aha._

It appeared to be the last one on the shelf, a gleaming beacon of wax and plastic and copious amounts of glitter. Smiling at how pleased Derek would be, Spencer reached his hands out to grab the lava lamp – only to have himself yet _again _shoved off as someone else snatched it from his grasp.

Reid looked up warily, seeing a man who was a significant bit shorter than him – but thicker, too, and looking to be in just _that_ kind of mood as he glared at the young genius. Standing up and dusting off his trousers, Reid did his best to stay polite.

"Excuse me," he began, stepping away a bit. "But that's actually something I came in here to purchase, and I _was _here first, so . . ." He drifted off suggestively, and waited.

The other man just curled his lip, looking Reid up and down before spitting out a reply.

"Came in here for the same thing. And I got it."

"Obviously." Reid frowned. "You pushed me to the floor and grabbed it from my hands. I'm just making an attempt at niceties, and asking – I repeat, _asking – _that you return my package to me."

"Package." The man, apparently still with the mindset of a college kid, snickered before continuing, "I got it, pansy. Watcha gonna do?" He made to turn around, before Reid's voice stopped him.

"I don't intend to get physical, sir, but I can assure you that I am quite capable of handling myself, and I'm not leaving this store without that box." Reid stepped forward, and boldly placed a hand near the man's shoulder. Immediately, he regretted this, as the gentleman ripped his arm away, violently smacking Reid's shoulder against the nearest wall.

He looked at the young doctor before him, shaking his head in apparent dismissal as he turned to leave. "Pathetic."

It took Reid a moment to get his bearings. Now more than a little miffed, he stormed to the front of the store where the jerk was standing at the register, the lava-lamp clutched in his hand, and holding out a credit card to that nice employee from earlier – Tanya.

Later, he would be shocked by this, but at that moment, Reid was too focused on not letting Morgan down to care. He sped up to the desk, and tapped the other man's shoulder.

"The only thing that is _pathetic,_ I think, is causing a fight with a complete and total stranger over a worthless piece of plastic produced in a sweatshop over the sea. And the only thing that's _more pathetic, 'sir,' _is escalating to physical violence over such a trite issue." Reid took a calming breath before continuing.  
"Luckily, I'm not one to be _pathetic_."

Lightning fast, he grabbed the box from the other man's hands, and tossed a twenty at the cashier. "Please keep any change as a gratuity for your excellent customer service," he turned to flash a smile at Tanya, who grinned eagerly and winked back at him, before turning and stalking out the doors, leaving a taken-aback father and very amused line of customers as the slender, slight genius marched victoriously down the mall hall, towards his boyfriend, and, at last, the end of this Hellish holiday.

* * *

Reid had been standing outside of the appliance store for more than half an hour, still riding on a happy but surprised high from his earlier behavior – and, man, he _couldn't wait _ to tell Morgan! He'd finally learned how to play it tough, Black-Friday style.

Of course, to tell Morgan about his delightful misbehavior, he would actually have to _show up._

Reid sighed impatiently, and looked down at his watch.

_38 minutes._

_God, if he were me, I'd think he'd been kidnapped. _

Smiling malevolently, Spencer went back to his earlier brooding. Never having been the early riser – yes, he was a man who slept little and infrequently, but when he did, it was deep and long – he was still tired from the 3 a.m. wake up call, and he rubbed his eyes, shifting the one thing he'd bought all day in his arms. It was just now approaching 8 o'clock, and Spencer Reid was worn out from the haggle of bargain-shopping.

_Where the Hell is he? _Reid wondered, cursing in his mind in a way he seldom did aloud. _That man, I swear . . . better have some Starbucks, or one heck of an apology present . . ._

Still searching for his missing partner, Spencer's eyes caught on something else entirely, across the atrium of the mall. A small set of photo booths, bright yellow and flashing the Kodak logo.

He watched, musing, as a number of young and happy couples walked into the covered rooms, all emerging fairly quickly with brown envelopes in hand and huge smiles on their faces. _They look so adorable._

It seemed like such a sweet, cute little gift . . . and the sign was advertising free frames with holiday themes . . . and, despite his current irritation with the man, Spencer truly did love Derek, and he loved giving him presents . . .

The genius cast a quick glance down both sides of the mall, and, upon seeing no sign whatsoever of the terrible Derek Morgan, scurried over to the little section set up for cameras. Slapping a bill down on the desk, the kindly director woman gave him a quick look, and gestured over her back, mumbling, "Booth Four. Guy in there's almost done, then you sit down, smile, and say cheese. Easy as pie."

Reid nodded, and ambled over towards the designated booth, all the while keeping an eye out for any reappearance of his boyfriend. When Morgan was still nowhere to be seen, Reid hurried, eager to get this thing done and over with and wrapped as quickly as possible.

_Still no sign of him, _the genius was relieved to note, and he practically ran up to the booth.

Of course, Spencer Reid was not a very graceful man, and he tripped most fantastically on before reaching his destination. His feet kicked up, and he flopped over on his back, moaning after a second about the pain in his thighs.

Spencer was used to being a klutz, and he would have found it quite funny himself if so many other people hadn't been laughing at him. Their mirth echoed off the walls of the crowded shopping center, and Reid slowly angled himself up, struggling not to let his face crumple in anger or mortification.

"Need a hand?" a grip on his shoulder, gently trying to help ease him up, and Reid shrugged it away, preferring not to be touched.

"No, I –" Reid stopped mid-sentence, turning to face the person who'd helped him up.

_Morgan. _

The older man smiled at Spencer's bewilderment, and hastily tucked something behind his back. "Always getting into trouble, Pretty Boy."

Reid snorted. "I wouldn't have _gotten_ in this situation if you'd shown up on time in the first place like you promised, _Derek."_

"Aw, Spencer, I was getting you a present –"

"So was I!" Reid clamped his hands over his mouth – _dammit, _that was supposed to have been a _surprise. _He shrugged, hoping the other man hadn't heard him speak in the din.

But Morgan wasn't a profiler for nothing. He noticed Spencer's obvious embarrassment, and then, looking around, remembered where they were. He turned back to the flustering man before him.

"Baby Boy, were you going to get one of those pictures for me?"

Reid bit his lip for a second, looking pained, before he nodded, defeated. "I thought it would be a funny way to surprise you today. Just a little gift, you know, and I – " Spencer's words were cut off as Derek pressed against him, silencing him with a brief kiss. While doing this, he handed a plastic bag he'd been concealing behind his back to the kid.

Reid, fumbling, managed to pick it open before pulling out of the lovely kiss, and looked down, frowning as he pulled out a small, square package. Derek leaned in towards his ear.

"I'm sorry I was late, Pretty Boy. I was getting you something, too."

Reid, shifting the flat box in his arms, saw that what had kept Morgan for so long was a 9x13 frame, in which was a freshly-taken photo of Derek Morgan, his warm smile huge and hands twisted into an uncharacteristic little heart, Taylor-Swift-style, in front of his chest. He looked up at the same Morgan, who was wearing a similar smile now.

"You're a big teddy bear, aren't you?" He asked, sidling closer to the man.

Derek wrapped him in his arms. "You know that, Kid."

"But," Reid continued after a moment spent savoring Morgan's touch, "we'll have to get it done right, Derek."

The other man squinted, trying to figure out what Reid meant. "How's that?"

Spencer smiled. "We'll need to get one done together. 'Our First Godforsaken Shopping Excursion' has a nice ring to it, yes?"

Morgan laughed, and buried his face in Reid's hair. "Alright," he mumbled, happier than he sounded by the idea of something actually romantic coming from his rather chaste boyfriend's lips. "We'll get one, just the two of us."

They stayed nuzzling for just a moment, and then, Spencer leading them, picked their way back through the crowd, smiling, to take their first-ever picture together as a couple.

* * *

Once they had finally disentangled themselves from the horrible abyss of Black Friday shoppers, Morgan had offered to take Spencer to lunch, for being such a trooper. Reid had agreed, of course, on the condition that wherever they were going served plenty of piping hot coffee. And eggs. Reid really had a weird thing about eggs in the morning . . .

They'd been sitting at one of their favorite diners – a quiet, discreet place that was between their two homes, but not close enough to work that they had to worry about being caught – making light attempts at conversation. Or, at least, Morgan was; Reid was rather quiet, nodding along in the right places, looking up and sipping his third cup of espresso occasionally – but, for the most part, the boy just kept staring at the little photograph they'd taken earlier, tracing over their huge grins with a small smile of his own.

"You know, Pretty Boy," Morgan began, finally wondering why his boyfriend was being so very quiet, "if something's bugging you, social custom sorta dictates that you have to share it with the man you're seeing. I can help, so . . . what's up?"

"Hmm?" Reid was jerked from his thoughts, and looked up at Morgan slowly. Considering him, Spencer seemed to be tossing an idea around in his mind for a minute before deciding. Nodding, he met Morgan's eye.

"Fine, then." He took a huge breath. "Derek, I know that this was our first Black Friday together . . . and I'm glad we survived, happy that you got everything you came looking for, but, ah . . . I won't be doing this again."

Morgan's face crunched up in hurt. "You didn't have fun?"

"Not really," Spencer added hastily, "but not because of _you, _Derek – I mean, you were as wonderful as ever. I loved getting the time with you . . . But all the shopping, and the noise and the cold and the hour . . ." he shuddered, "and those _insane people."_

Morgan laughed, trying not to show his upset. "Yeah, we can all get a little crazy when there's deals like that bouncing around." Spencer met his eye, still not smiling.

"Derek, I love you. And I want you to be happy. But the only parts of today I truly enjoyed were the few moments I was with you. I'd like to do that more."

"Pretty Boy," Morgan began, not sure how to voice his argument. "I know it's hectic, but _this –"_ (he gestured around them, to the stores around the block) "is all part of the whole holiday thing. It's crazy, but that's why we celebrate – "

"Which is _why,_" Reid cut in smoothly, "I'm suggesting that, next year we don't celebrate."

Morgan frowned, getting ready to argue again, before Reid spoke up.

"What I'm saying _instead," _Reid moved in closer to Morgan, his voice getting lower and softer, "is that we stay in bed and keep one another warm until a reasonable hour." His fingers danced up Morgan's arms. "_Instead, _we drink _good_ coffee and have no one but each other for a few hours." His lips brushed against Derek's as he whispered the final part of his proposal. "_Instead, _we could do the shopping part online, and I can give you lots of _good, cheap, free _things . . ._ with no lines, and no waiting."_ Morgan shivered slightly, and looked up, meeting Reid's grin head on.

"I'll be your Black Friday celebration, Pretty Boy?"

"Oh, yes," Reid leaned in, and pressed a kiss on Derek's lips. "I'd rather get fucking insane with you than with a bunch of lunatics looking to score a deal."

Morgan pulled Spencer in closer. "I love it when you curse, Kid."

"Take me out shopping again this time next year, I'll do it more times than you can imagine."

"Nah," Morgan smiled, slowly standing, taking Spencer with him. "Sounds intriguing, but I've got plans to spend next Black Friday at home with my Pretty Boy."

"Thank you," Reid mumbled into Morgan's neck, slowly gathering up their packages as they left the bistro.

"My pleasure, Spencer. My pleasure." Morgan hailed a cab.

"Or it will be, next year," Reid smiled, leaning in for one last kiss before the two of them climbed into the back of the waiting vehicle, going home at last.

* * *

_** . . . . . . .**_

* * *

**Author's Endnote: **There was no point to this, I admit; I'm just tired and in need of some Morgan/Reid-ism. But I hope I made you smile at least once. Happt Black Friday, everybody!


End file.
